Communication Required

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Today's reading: 2 Samuel 14:21-15:12

The fallout from Amnon's and then Absalom's sin continues to unfold. Absalom is allowed to move back to Jerusalem but when he returns his life is anything but normal. He's living in his hometown but for all intents and purposes, he is ostracized by David and those surrounding him. Absalom wants a restored relationship with his father but it doesn't happen. And even when he forces a meeting with David, the tension between them is not put to rest. Sadly, even though these two men love each other deeply, there is no real effort at reconciliation from either of them. When they finally come face to face there is no recognition of wrongdoing, no seeking of forgiveness, no words of affection exchanged. Absalom returns home still feeling hurt, rejected and unloved, and likely harboring anger toward David for his lack of action with Amnon. In this state, Absalom then allows his feelings to fester into resentment and bitterness and the next thing we see is him turning against David in the worst possible way.

God designed us to be in relationship with others--and especially our family. So when bonds and friendships are damaged or broken we hurt and grieve. And whether we voice it or not, we long for reconciliation. But in order for restoration to take place there has to be communication.

So what hinders us from seeking reconciliation with someone who has hurt us, or with someone we have hurt? What do you see going on in this account with David and Absalom? What are the dangers of not dealing with our anger and hurt feelings? Tami

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The most glaring thing I see happening in this account is that Absalom had offered no repentance for the murder of his brother, and doesn't display any remorse. This makes it all the more key that Joab is the driving force behind his return, as he had also committed a revenge killing without remorse. We can say what we will about David's inaction towards Amnon, but Absalom hasn't been held accountable, either. The entire situation was a mess, and it was only going to get messier.

I have to say fear is one of the reasons we don't seek reconciliation were afraid of rejection. David and Absalom lack communication, we assume that people think the way we do and will react in the same way as we would under similiar circumstances. When we don't deal with our hurt feelings they fester and bring out the worst assumptions in us, its like we lose all perception of what the real issues are,making mountains out of mole hills, especially because we are not centered in God and going with our own emotions that are misleading. We need to guard our thoughts by staying in the word, and mend our shortcomings immediately with our brothers and sisters.

This is a very timely lesson. I am feeling the estrangement from my daughter with extra sadness these days. She lives on the other side of the world. Our last communication was 2 months ago when I tried to offer advice with her marriage. I was promptly told to butt out.

She is only in communication with my husband's mother. She contacts no one else in the whole family. She is an only child, age late 20s. We have been estranged since 2007 with brief periods of communication.

She was raised in the church but she is living a secular life at the moment, as is her husband.

Each year gets worse. I am trying to focus on my relationship with God, knowing that I am His child. He wishes to be close to me like I want to be with my daughter. But the day starts with sadness and I find that I continue to struggle. The respite from staying busy, helping others and praying helps. I guess there is only waiting and hoping left. Thank you for your lesson.


I’m sorry to hear about the strained relationship with your daughter. I prayed for you both today. God knows your hurts and is with you. And, remember that a relationship goes both ways and we can only control our end. So don’t give up. Keep on praying and lovingly reaching out to your daughter. Tami

I, too, just prayed for you, as well as the relationship between you and your daughter.

I will also pray for you and you daughter.

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About Me

Hi, my name is Tami Weissert, the P4 facilitator and the "voice" behind the blogs. I'm passionate about helping people grow spiritually and actively encourage Bible engagement through conference speaking and writing. I also served as co-host of the Back to the Bible radio program for over 8 years. A little about me. I'm married to Jeff, and we love scuba diving, playing with our 3 dachshunds and going to Husker football games. I also love growing orchids, singing and Diet Pepsi. I hope you'll join in the conversation as we read the Bible and grow together.

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This page contains a single entry by Tami W published on August 24, 2015 3:25 AM.

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