There is nothing good about jealousy. It's poisonous and spreads like an infection eating away at your heart. And as we jump into the story of Joseph's life and that of his family, one of the first things we see is the damage jealousy causes. Joseph's father, Jacob, didn't employ good judgment when it came to his sons. He played favorites, and that planted the seed for jealousy between Joseph and his brothers. "Now Israel (Jacob) loved Joseph more than any other of his sons . . . . [W]hen his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him" (Gen. 37:3-4).
Life isn't always fair and at some point, if you haven't already, you will either play favorites or be the victim of someone playing favorites. So how do you keep from making the same mistake as Jacob? And on the flip side, how do you keep from giving in to jealousy like Joseph's brothers? Tami W.
P.S. We're starting the series Joseph: Making Life Out of Lemons today on Back to the Bible. Join us for some great life lessons from God's Word!
Playing Favorites
I know that when I've felt jealousy over the past, I nip it in the bud by confessing it to God immediately. I then looked at the things about that person I was jealous of that eminated Christ and prayed those into my own life. I continued to pray for that person and thanked God for her. Quickly the jealousy slipped away. In parenting, I tell my boys each day that I love them and the differences that God has created in each of them. I praise them both when I see areas of strength and moments of integrity. I try to spend equal time with them and make each of their birthdays fun :-) My youngest is very difficult to handle, but I continue to remind him that he can make good choices and that God and I love him very much.
Hard questions to consider today... We have only one child, so there was no favoratism there. However, today we have four grandchildren, and it is in my thoughts very often that I need to treat them all fairly. Sometimes that it difficult, with their differences & their desires. I've caught myself wanting to do more for one of them & then I have to stop & think how this will affect the other children (ages 11,14,15 & 16), because believe me they catch on very quickly.
The Lord has blessed me in so many ways. However, sometimes I look at others & wish I had their gifts & abilities. Others seem to have everything in the talent line. I look at others and think, "they've got it all together." But then the Spirit reminds me no one has it all together here & now. The Spirit urges me to use my gifts & talents for God's glory - not to look at others.
As the Holy Spirit continues to live in us, and cultivates His fruit in our lives, we find ourselves more concerned with using the strengths He's given us to His glory.
That being said, I don't think there's a one of us who doesn't struggle with jealousy in some form now and then. At times, when another friend or acquaintance is announcing a new relationship, or an engagement, or wedding plans, I'll have to intentionally tell myself to rejoice and be happy for them, rather than being jealous and begrudging of their having what I've waited so long for with no apparent end in sight.
Thankfully, I'm improving in this area with the Lord's help, and learning that, even in those times where the lonesomeness is most tangible, I can still rejoice in the blessings God has given me, and also in the blessings He chooses to send into the lives of others.
I grew up in a similar situation, I was in the middle of six, my youngest sister had more privileges than all of us, and it never played out nicely, until this day this topic still comes up because kids notice and resent what they consider unfairness in parenting. The spirit has showed me that God has reasons for everything, and that just because parents might not be fair doesn't mean that a bigger plan isn't being worked out. When we are overlooked it builds strength to achieve more or work even harder to obtain our goals. When we are given the easy path we miss out on this advantage. It leaves us insecure because we never really had to work hard for anything, because we are limited in our ability to see things as God does we will take the side of a victim, and never see the bigger picture.
Our parents passed away when we were still young and I realized that my younger sister needed as much love as they gave because their time here was short.
I try to always be aware of favoritism when dealing with children, because feeling slighted is never overlooked by children, an invisible score card is always being kept.
I have learned to admire the blessings in others lives because our God is so gracious and loving, we are where we are because he has a plan for each and everyone of us and certain things that we perceive as good might not necessarily be beneficial to fulfilling our creators plan. If only we could figure these thing out sooner in our lives, we would be a lot more understanding.
As for me friends I confess that I used to be very jealous. GOD has been working on my jealousy, my bitterness, as-well-as my pride. I've fought with this world a long time; only to discover the battle lies within "and" to the LORD, amen?
According to 1 Corinthians 13:4(NLT) love is not jealous. So if "I" love then I can't be jealous. I used to fail miseribly, now I don't fail so much as I receive the Fathers blessings (viz. Love, the fruit of the Spirit) but I still do. Love never fails, and since everything else "I've" tried has failed, I've been testing the validity of that statement. Much to my amazement I can truthfully attest that: it works!
GOD bless all!
I love you! and there's nothing u can do about it!
Cheers!
I am both someone's favorite and a victim. It hurts both ways because when I was the favorite I was hated by everyone around me and when I was the victim it was very lonely because I felt left out. What I have tried to do so I don't have favorites is try to treat those I have a relationship with equal until someone steps over their boundries with me. Even then I still try to not completely leave them out because I believe that Jesus would continue to reach out to them. Something to think about and this is something I have never thought about. Thank you.