Kind Words

Jesus taught that what comes out of our mouth reflect our heart and who we are. In vs 23 of Proverbs 16 it says "a wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction." A good place to begin learning how to respond graciously in all situations is to recognize that the words we say are a reflection of who we are. This will help us be more reflective about what we have said and about what we are about to say.

Another step is to ask if our own soul and bones have been impacted by the "honeycomb" of God's grace. Experiencing God's grace makes you want to be gracious to others. We will not be perfectly gracious to people at all times but knowing God's grace personally will give us the desire to be like "honeycomb" to others.

In Proverbs 16:27,28 there is the shadow side of what it means to act graciously. Our speech can be like a "scorching fire." We can communicate in ways that promote dissension. We can gossip and break up friendships. These are some of the ways that we can tell that we are derailed in responding graciously.

Generating more gracious words begins with practice. It might feel that we are wrestling ourselves to the ground but we need to practice. The more we move ourselves to use God's words of grace the more we will see ourselves transformed and those around us.

I believe that in order to be kind in speech we have to be pure in heart. Christ himself said, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks". Mt. 12:34(NIV). David said in Ps. 119:11, "I have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you"(NIV). So we must study the word and commit to doing what the word says and then with pure hearts our utterances will always be sweet as honeycomb and healthy for the body.

I agree with both Ian and Eglon. Great comments. Sometimes I practice how I'm going to act (don't react) in a particular situation. It helps me do a realty check. How do I truly feel? What should I say or not say. I also remember when people have been gracious and kind to me at my moments of imperfection. It helps me remember that I am not perfect, and I should be gracious to others.

As we study the Word of God and learn His ways, we need to apply His word to our lives. When we apply His word to our lives, God makes changes in us. We are new creatures in Christ. Christ strengthens us.

To be more gracious in our speech is to imitate Jesus Christ. We grow in His ways and we decrease as His will increases in us.

When we respond to others, sometimes if it is a negative situation, we may need to walk away. We cannot let pride destroy us. Sometimes the best answer is no answer as we pray for that person and ourselves.

Great comments! I like to add and remind us that the Bible says we should see others better than ourselves. This is pouring grace onto another thus making us gracious too. This as well boosts the other person's self esteem as well as ours because when we make others feel good, that goodness returns to us and ultimately boosts our confidence.

TAMI

I AGREE WITH YOU THAT GRACIOUS WORDS ARE INDEED SWEET AND HEALTHY FOR THE RECEIVER AND THE GIVER SHOULD ALSO BENEFIT.

HOWEVER IN OUR SOCIETY TODAY PARTICULARLY AMONG THE YOUNG ADULTS THE POTENTIAL GIVER FEELS THAT HE WOULD BE BOWING DOWN TO THE POTENTIAL RECEIVER WHILE THE POTENTIAL RECEIVER WOULD OFTEN RECEIVE IT WITH A SUPERIOR ATTITUDE SUCH AS "I AM BETTER THAN HE OR SHE IS OR HE OR SHE IS AFRAID OF ME".

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THIS?

REGARDS IN CHRIST

CECIL

I think what my Mom taught me growing up, to walk a mile in someones shoes before you speak against them is a good start. It says in the word to be slow to speak as well. I think doing both is a good start.

Great question Cecil

I think there are a few things to consider when it comes to the "giver" and "receiver" dynamic that you have highlighted.

1. Perception: If I've understood your comments correctly the problem is with the perception of the giver and receiver in terms of their interaction with each other. The "receiver" perceives themselves to be superior in some way because someone is giving something to them. You are right to say that this will happen but that should not stop us from being a "giver." I don't believe we can allow other people's theoretical or potential perceptions about our actions stop us from giving. I think this principle is seen in Romans 12:20

2. Reputation: Leaving our reputation to God is one of the hardest things. We will attempt to follow God all of our lives and people will interpret our actions in a variety of ways. We have no control over this. We can only attempt to influence their interpretation but this influence is minimal. The primary thing that we should care about is what motivates our own responses as a "giver" or as a "receiver" and submit our motives to God

3. Being Wronged: 1 Cor. 6:7-8 talks about the fact that the Corinthians had lawsuits among themselves as Christians. Paul didn't feel this was a good testimony to the world. He highlights the value of being wronged in a situation rather than being a poor testimony. I think that if we have a good idea that the "receiver" is going to feel superior when we give that we should just suffer the wrong if in fact it is God leading us to do good for that person.

I hope this helps

I must be careful what words I use many times I've had to eat them..
Jesus is our Gracious King and I look forward to His coming to make me perfect! Boy do I need it!

Cecil,

Thanks for your blog. Here are a couple of thoughts. Since I can only control me, I need to be careful with my words and actions so that I can put forth a godly example for others. If a person on the receiving end of my words chooses to respond poorly, I've still done what I know is right. And, hopefully, what I've done or how I've acted will have an impact at some point, even if it's way after the fact. So for me, it's basically model, model, model. Tami W.